A couple days ago I sat down to write in the blog. It was a forced effort. I'm not sure why I try so hard because if I'm writing for writing's sake nothing good (at least nothing I think is good) will come of it. But I knocked out a little post about some numbskull athiest whose Whack-a-Doodle website I happened to stumble over. I didn't start out with a plan to write about that guy but I got off course and slapped few random sentences together about him and his lost soul and called it a blog post. You can see it for yourself if you scroll down from here... What you can't see about that blog post was all the stuff I had written and deleted. I had written the words "Six Degrees Of Separation By The Grace Of God" and then started to lay out my path from Point A to Point B, etc. But I had gotten so sideways over the crazy athiest that I figured I'd scratch the Six Degrees idea and just start over at some point when I actually felt like writing. And maybe I could get some thoughts together to put out something that I at least liked. I wasn't so sure that "Six Degrees" was the right way to describe God's blessings being poured out on me. (And sometimes I fret so much over what to write about that I go forever and not write a single thing...)
So I went to church last night. And wouldn't you know it, my Pastor - God's man for the job as the leader at my church - started out by saying to the congregation, "I had something else prepared for tonight but the Holy Spirit has put something different on me to talk about". That's a sentence in itself that will get your attention! Then he started talking about Psalm 46:10, "Be Still and Know..." and seeing God's blessings in every little detail of our lives. When all of a sudden there it was! The old Six Degrees of Separation example! It was like the pastor read the deleted stuff in my jumbled up and confused blog ramblings! Even more exciting to me was that his "chain of events" included me and both of our "chains" ended at the same place... Part of his I knew about, part of it I didn't. Some of my missing links were unearthed and the mystery solved. God's plans are interesting and fun and always perfect! Make no mistake, even last night's impromptu sermon and subsequently this very blog post was penned out even before the beginning of time! Perhaps the pastor didn't stand up and start talking with "answering my un-asked questions" anywhere in his mind, but as far as I was concerned The Holy Spirit used him to tell me that my use of a pop-culture catch-phrase to describe God working in my life was just fine! Coincidence? I think not.
This past March I found myself unemployed. I figured I'd spend a week, maybe two looking for a job and would probably get hired on at a Veterinary Hospital somewhere. In this ridiculous economy and double-digit unemployment that just wasn't the case. I had my tax-refund money but that was gone in no time. Thankfully I was getting enough child support to pay the rent and the car insurance but there was no money left after paying those two bills. I applied for unemployment and was denyed. I stayed up late and got up early scouring the job-sites looking for listings. I sent my resumes to a million places and I heard from none of them. It was eerily quiet as I wouldn't even get a rejection letter. It didn't take me long at all to realize that my situation was dire. There was simply no money. And I was scared.
As if my Christianity matured right on schedule, I knew enough by then to turn to God. I got on my knees and prayed, laying my burdens down at His feet. I read my Bible everyday and spent time studying His words. Nearly "on-cue" He would send me a Bible verse or pop a song in my head that would soothe my worried mind. I lived on Matthew 6:25-34 which talks about God meeting our every need - food, shelter and clothing. The passage ends by saying "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Everyday I read those words and despite the bills getting further and further behind I managed to stop worrying. Sometimes I had to rob Peter to pay Paul but by the Grace of God my lights stayed on!
Since my phone wasn't blowing up from potential employers ready to throw contracts at me, while Matthew was in school I started spending more time with some of my church people. My Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Katherine, invited me to help stock the shelves at the CRO - our town's local food bank. She and her husband volunteered there the 3rd Tuesday of every month. I went, frankly, because I had nothing better to do that day but God had a more important reason for me to be there. He needed me to see real needs and I was made aware almost right away that my situation wasn't nearly as "dire" as I first thought. There was a line out the door of people who had no food, no diapers for babies, no toilet paper. They stood for hours to walk out with a couple small boxes of dented canned goods, Government issued peanut butter and meat donated from the Food Lion. I noted the irony of sending out a box of Hamburger Helper to someone who may very well have no hamburger. Oh, how sad a day that was. I was burdened and I wanted to help. I didn't have money but I had connections to voluteers. I managed to work there several 3rd Tuesdays during my time of unemployment. And I was blessed by the experience because He softened my heart for people in need.
Sometime back in the Spring a new couple showed up in our Sunday School class. They had recently attended a funeral that was officiated by our pastor. "As luck would have it" the man - a rugged auto-body shop owner and our pastor - who, before getting the Call, used to work as a claims adjuster for a car insurance company, knew each other from their prospective lines of work. Small world, it would seem. When the pastor saw the body shop guy at the funeral he invited them to our church. They attended Sunday School for few weeks and didn't say much, if anything at all. Until one Sunday we were talking about how we'd volunteered at the CRO and how great the need was. And the lady said, "We do a a lot of mission work at my job we end every letter or email with 'From God's heart to man's hands'" (or something very close to that). I liked the sound of that. I liked it a lot.
After Sunday school that morning I caught the lady in the hallway and officially introduced myself. I asked her where she worked and before she had time to answer I also asked if they were hiring?! "Salvation Army", she said. "And we just hired someone", she continued. I laughed and told her that was the story of my life but asked if I could send my resume to her. "Maybe you could get it into the right hands", I continued. "I feel like I want to work in that sort of mission field", I said. And then she told me she was the head of HR at Salvation Army and that her hands were the 'right hands'! She wanted my resume! I praised the Lord all the way home from church and promptly emailed my stuff! She emailed back saying she'd received my resume and ...insert generic form letter type rejection here... Disappointed but not worried. And the blessing was mine because I realized that God had placed important people, workers for Christ and His kingdom, at the table right across from me!
That following Sunday marked Matthew's and my 1 year anniversary of coming to Tuckaseege Baptist Church. I knew because Vacation Bible School was about to start and it was VBS that got us there to begin with. "Just so happened" that showing up in church that first Sunday a year earlier had changed my life in ways I'd never dreamed of! I was so passionate about it that I asked the pastor if I could get up that Sunday and speak to the congregaton about it. "My Testimony", I guess. He agreed.
I'm not sure why I was so nervous, I've stood in front of many, many more people than our church crowd and spoke but that morning my voice quivered, my legs wobbled and it took me a second to get myself together. I wanted the church to know just how much it meant to me but more importantly, I wanted to make sure that I gave Glory to God in every word I spoke! So I took a breath and started to speak. I told a little of my childhood - growing up in a Christian, private school but missing out on actual church. I told about my priorities being on partying at an early age and never really having a game plan or any sort of direction. And I talked about God protecting me when I wasn't taking care of myself and I talked about God loving me - when I was most unlovable. I started to notice some of the women in the congregation were teary-eyed and reaching for tissues in their purses. My voice cracked and I had to pause when I started to talk about my dad passing away and how lonely I was. And how after years of isolation I considered many of them my friends. And I thanked them for the love they'd shown my beloved son.
By then all the ladies seemed to be crying and I even noticed some of the men were a little red in the face. I'm not sure what I was saying that was having that effect on the people but I had to stop making eye contact after I saw tears rolling down the face of the worship pastor! And then 'something' came over me and I went completely off my prepared 'script' and talked about finding Jesus, being saved and how God was in the place! The normally mostly-quiet and conservative congregtion started clapping and 'amening' and I wrapped up my thing and sat down. I was physically shaking. "Mission Accomplished", I thought and was satisfied that I seemed to impress upon the people the importance of Vacation Bible School. After church I went home and didn't give it much more thought but I was blessed by the experience - to stand up and speak before the Body of Christ in the house of God. He had given me this "gift of gab" and I was finally able to use it for Him.
The following Sunday the Salvation Army lady grabbed me as I was walking out of church. She told me the Monday following my tear-fest testimony that she went into her boss's office and said "we NEED to hire this girl!" Evidently I made her manly, auto-body shop guy shed some tears as well with my sad story and she figured if I could do that then surely I'd be good at the Salvation Army! I wasn't completely sure of her logic but I didn't care! I figured I was all but hired!! And even better, God Himself was going to have a hand in this hiring process!! In my mind He'd given me the words to speak to move the body shop guy enough so that the Salvation Army lady could see that I'm somehow good with people! (Six degrees, right?!) How marvelous an opportunity to work and be of service to people in real need. I was so excited! The lady tried and tried to find a place for me but there was simply no money in the budget to hire another person. And I was horribly disappointed. Sad and confused even. But still not worried...
To Be Continued.....
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