The Church Pew

There was light and beauty.  There was wisdom, friendship, family and love.  There were several very different walks of life all brought together this morning - like a naturally scattered stone path perfectly placed by God Himself - on one pew of the church.

On the end was a husband and wife.  Her mother was a church member when she was born so that makes her a 'lifer'!  He fell in love with her while they were teens - and he came to the church for her.  When he finally found Jesus - he came for Jesus.  And her!  I imagine between the two of them with the time they've spent together in the church, they have heard the Bible preached and the Gospel told every way it could possibly be presented - and more than once!  They are a beautiful example of humility, quiet giving and doers of the Word. They've lived in the same house for more than 30 years.

Beside her on the pew was her dear friend and neighbor.  They have lived life beside each other forever even going into the hospital on the same day as they both gave birth to their first daughters.  I imagine these two have turned to each other a thousand times over the years - each considering the other "that friend".  They love each other with Christian hearts and a lot like sisters!  It's the pair of friends you hope you and your bestie will grow up and be someday!

That woman married into one of the founding families of the church.  Her last name goes hand in hand with our church!  You rarely see the church without her in it.  She's a Sunday School teacher and a Lifegroup leader.  She really, really knows so much about walking with Christ - she's raised two girls into Women of God and she's been a mother to countless others.  She's the mother for those who's moms are gone - in one way or another.  And sometimes even a grandma to little children who need a Godly grandparent!  She is beauty and grace and she's the kind of Godly woman strive to be.

Right beside her was a woman who grew up a long way from our small town.  She grew up in a home who didn't attend church or talk much about Jesus.  But just as if God had a plan - she and her husband made their way into our state - and then into our church!  She would tell you herself that she was uncomfortable in certain situations, she didn't know how to be the 'doer' we as Christians are expected to be.  But she wanted to!  She plugged herself into all kinds of church activities and events so she could step out a little further in faith.  She is one of the many who was taken under the wing of the woman to her right.  She has learned by spending time with her how to be a Christian wife, a Christian mother, a sister and even a Christian daughter - shining the light of Christ brightly into her childhood home.  And since being so far away from home and family is hard, she has a Godly 'substitute mom' and her kids have a beautiful church family who want nothing more but the very best for them.  It's God's hand-picked relationship and part of His large plan!  Lately she's climbed way out of her comfort-zone to be a friend to a girl in real need of friendship.  Someone who at times would not even get out of bed if it wasn't necessary.  Someone suffering and in pain.  She sat beside her on the pew.

That woman always 'knew' God - but didn't really KNOW God.  When she finally gave herself to Him fully He gave her a beautiful church to call home and a church family who was in place by the time the last of her own family had died.  She too has been mothered by our beautiful Sunday School teacher.  She's come so far in her Christian walk - going from party girl, bar-hopper to one who speaks to ladies in prison or girls at a homeless shelter.  She loves Jesus - and she loves God's people.  She encourages those who know her - at least she's been told that countless times.  But.  She suffers greatly with sadness - diagnosed with Major Depression.  When she has her dark times she has a tendency to isolate herself, not reach out, not do the things she usually loves....many Sundays she wouldn't even make it to church.  She's been ministered to by that dear Christian sister - who at one time struggled with reaching out to anyone outside of her comfort zone.  It's a friendship that's blooming like a flower tended to by God!  That sad girl is me.  And I'm so grateful God put us together in His master garden!

Beside me on the pew this morning was a young lady who reminds me a lot of myself 20 years earlier.  Except she's making it on her own way better than I ever could!  I was lucky enough to have a loving family who did for me anything I could have ever needed.  That just doesn't seem to be the case for her.  She found her way to our church this past summer and ended up falling in love with Jesus there!  She needs help because she's young - both in life and her Christian walk - and I love her so.  I am compelled to reach out to her and make sure she's reminded often how much Jesus loves her!  It's funny how much I can't keep myself together some days but I can be a help to someone else.  I know God has used me in her life in some way because I've seen that look on her face that you get when you realize a prayer has been answered!  It won't be long before she's got someone sitting to her left who she's ministered to.  Someone who can look at her and say "well, if God can work it out for her He can work it out for me too!"  (Just like she can say about me!) She's already a strong, surviving, single-mom.  She'll be a powerful testimony to God's Grace and Mercy!  She's beautiful and I love that God has brought her into my life - our lives as a church!

Today our pastor was talking about those times in life where you wonder where God is.  Sometimes you just want to cry out "WHERE ARE YOU NOW, GOD?!  WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AND WHERE ARE YOU?!?!"  But God is everywhere, he said.  God is your neighbor.  God is your friend.  If the Holy Spirit is in you then you are the Hands and Feet of Jesus.  "Look beside you", he said.  "God is there."

And then I thought about the people on my pew alone and the wisdom, love and grace that has moved from person to person down the row.  It's easy to see the hand of God moving from that Life long church couple right down to the baby christian - so new to the faith and still wondering "where are you, God" herself.

And that was just one pew.  Imagine a world where we invested some time, wisdom and love into just the one person beside us.  God's grace reaching out to every person to our left, thanking God for the person on our right!  Go be Jesus for someone on your pew.

Me Time = Bath Time

I went to a new counselor yesterday.  For a first visit, we hit it off pretty well.  She asked me a bunch of questions and I answered them in my usual fashion which made her laugh.  She was impressed with my personality and I think she was a little surprised that on the inside I was facing some crushing sadness.  We didn't even brush the surface of all the stuff that brought me to her office.  Just the facts yesterday.  I got the feeling that's how she started every single one of her new client relationships.  I'm looking forward to going back.  She was nice and I liked her.

At the end of our first visit - (and I thought to myself "here we go...The part where she tells me to just get out and take a walk or get plenty of sleep, eat better, read a book., etc and I'll feel better.....") - she gave me some "homework".  "Please don't tell me to exercise to feel better", I said.  "I won't do it just to spite us both!"  She laughed.  She knew that already, she said, and she knew better.  Her homework was for me to do something for myself every day.  Have a few minutes of "me time", she said.  She threw out a few suggestions - including a hot, soaking bath.  I promised I would do something everyday.  We made an appointment for next week and I left.

So I got up today rushing around to get ready for work and school - suddenly Matthew comes down with something I can only describe as some sort of dysentery.  It was bad.  Poor thing wasn't going to make it.  I called his doctor and checked in with my office.  He was down for the day, and I was going to be at home with my exploding baby.  And that's my life in a nut-shell.  Single mother-hood is just like that.  Hurry up - do it all by yourself - stay home from work because you have to - struggle to pay the bills - worry about how we're going to make it - get up the next day and start over.  And over.  And over.  It's hard.  It's really hard.  But that's not what this blog post is about.....

So a couple of hours ago I started thinking about the counselor and the "me time" thing I was supposed to do.  Bearing in mind that my meds had stopped working weeks ago and I've been tooling around in the pits of despair lately - where everything bothers me, hurts my feelings and causes me much pain and anxiety (a little dramatic - but still!) - I couldn't think of a single "Me Time" thing that seemed appealing. After too much time worrying about the me-time thing I had to do - I picked BATH.  Yes.  A nice, hot, soaking bath. - I would take advantage of my nice, remodeled bathroom and new bathtub here in my new little house.

I can't remember the last time I took an actual, relaxing bath.  All I usually get to do is jump in a quick shower - likely running late for something.  The last time I even sat down in a bath tub was 11 years ago while I was in labor.  But there's nothing - NOTHING - relaxing about a baby trying to pry your cervix open.  So that didn't count.  Excited about this new 'me time' thing - I turned on the hot, hot water and started to fill the tub.  Then in went my toe.  The water was hot - and that was great!  I got both feet in and started to sit down......

Now, I'm older - and, well, larger - than I was the last time I took a bath.  Once my knees bent into about the 'sitting in a chair' position - I really couldn't squat down much more.  So I ended up just sort of falling the rest of the way in.  BIG SPLASH!  But that's ok!  I was in my glorious, hot, steamy, relaxing, bubble-filled bath for my 'me time'!  I thought back, as a small child in our home I remember being able to swim around in the great big tub.  Not so much anymore.  My legs were so long that I couldn't stretch out - but I was able to lie back and put my feet up on the wall.  I put my hot, wet wash cloth on my head and let Calgon take me away!  It was beautiful!!  I was as relaxed as I've been in forever in my watery haven of peace!  I was in my happy place.  I soaked for what seemed like a lifetime - stress, worry, anxiety just washing away from my water-pruned skin.  I smiled, I stretched my arms up over my head, splashed my feet down into the tub and went to slide under the bubbles (just like Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman).  But my butt stopped sliding when my feet wouldn't go over the non-slip tub mat.  I was suddenly crammed into the fetal position and jammed sideways in my tub.  I was trapped like a big, wet rat.  Luckily there were bubbles in the water so I was able to wriggle myself loose.  I got a leg free but I was in an awkward position.  Bearing in mind that 'moving around room' in a bathtub is a premium that us big girls can hardly afford - I figured I'd just get out and start over.  I threw my leg up and over the side and ended up hanging on to the side of the bathtub like a trick pony rider at the county fair, got a hand on the floor and dragged myself out to safety.  I was a little stunned at how quickly a mental paradise can end up with you butt naked on the bathroom floor.  I laughed a little.  Once I got myself back together I just drained the tub and finished up with a quick shower.

When I got out I looked down into the tub amazed at what all had just happened!  I could have died! But I didn't.  I could needed Matthew to call the fire department to come and rescue me!  But I didn't. 'Me Time' didn't kill me!  Humiliating and physically painful?  Sure.  But it didn't kill me!  And I smell fantastic!  So far cognitive therapy has been a huge success!  I can't wait to see what tomorrow's 'me time' brings. :)  Ultimately the moral of this story is this: If you're going under the bubbles ala Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman - remove the no-slip tub mat.