Statistically Speaking

 

My daily drive home from work is my only time to decompress.  I have 20 minutes to shake off the 8+ hours of the job – good or bad – and transform from office gal to single mom.  I drag into the house exhausted from the day and that’s when the real work begins!  I try very hard to maintain balance.  My work depends on me to perform my duties and I depend on it for lots of things – but most importantly as a means to provide shelter and food for myself and my son.  My son depends on me solely – and sometimes that scares me to death for him.

Over the years I’ve interviewed many a criminal.  And usually the common thread is growing up in a home without a father – or sometimes a mother – and much of the time feeling left to fend for themselves.  OH!  Please don’t let my boy become a STATISTIC!

Many statistics will tell you that any kid growing up in a single-parent household will likely face an uphill climb.  Statistically speaking, he’s far more likely to experience violence, commit suicide, continue a cycle of poverty, become drug dependent, commit a crime or perform below his peers in education.  I didn’t realize the act of becoming a single parent could lead him right into some of the exact things I was trying to shield him from.  What a dilemma for a mother!  (And dilemmas for single fathers, also…)

I used to listen to a guy on talk radio who would continuously dismiss single moms as careless women who just ran around having babies at leisure, living off the government and producers of the next generation of street thugs and criminals. If some kid got into some random trouble and made the news this talk show host would not fail to mention; “Oh, and his father wasn’t around” or “and I’ll bet his mother doesn’t even know who his father is”. This radio guy would make me so mad when he would generalize single moms as some sort of thoughtless tramps with no control of their destined for failure offspring! Every time he had some topic related to single parenting he couldn’t help himself but say the hurtful things he believed.   I would nearly dare him to walk a mile in my shoes.

I never intended to be a single mom – well who does, really?   But the wheels came off the marriage and by baby’s first birthday it was all over but the crying. We separated and I was left to it – raising a baby boy on my own.  I sold our house, found a daycare and went back to work.   I wasn’t happy about letting the daycare partially raise my son – but I had to work so we could eat and not be homeless.  I was determined to make it work.  But those statistics.  Those troubling statistics.  What if, despite my best efforts to raise up this boy the right way, he just turns out all wrong.  I hope we never give that radio guy something to talk about.

With an estimated 30% of all American households being one-parent families, more and more resources are becoming available for single parents and more importantly, their children.

I spoke with Jason Marlowe, Pastor at Tuckaseege Baptist Church in Mt. Holly.  He works alongside several other dedicated area pastors and youth pastors in a mentor program for the local schools.  “We started out at the high school level”, he said.  “There were so many kids in our area who live in broken homes, have no contact with a dad or mom, even kids right here in Gaston County who are officially homeless.  The potential for trouble for some of these kids was so great, we thought we could make a difference by lending a hand with some good life skills.”  Pastor Marlowe has a background in Criminal Justice and understands a lot of what leads a kid into a life of crime.  He knows the statistics.

He went on to say, “We offered advice on college, decision making, jobs and just life.  And we listened to them.  Some of the stories were sad, tragic even and some of these kids just needed an outlet to share how they were feeling.  We wanted them to know that no matter how unfair life seemed at times, they were cared for – at least by us.  They needed to know that they could make it in this world no matter their circumstances.  The History books are full of kids who grew up and made it.”

Pastor Marlowe continued, “It seemed like the kids we were being introduced to were younger and younger.  Finally we were asked if we would start visiting one of the local middle schools.  It wasn’t long after that when we were asked to come to the elementary school also.”

“Some of these boys and girls have been through a lot already.  They’ve seen so much in their young lives – stuff kids shouldn’t ever have to deal with – we have to go to them.  We have to make sure they know there is a way and a hope and a future for them.”  He continued, “Some of these kids don’t get much at all from home.  Not just as a church, but as a community, we have to step up and give these kids what we can to help them succeed.”

Pastor Marlowe was raised by a single mom.  He knows.

There are ample resources in the Charlotte and surrounding areas for single parenting.  You can find many avenues of assistance at www.kidsincharlotte.com or http://www.singlemomassistance.org/city/nc-charlotte.

For the children, many communities have sports organizations and nearly every church in town has programs for kids!  Some churches offer after school care, mentoring, tutoring and more for kids from single-parent homes.  Getting kids involved in positive, faith-based or educational activities will put them in contact with good role models, adults who care about them and can fill in some of the gaps when a parent is missing.  Statistically, the statistics improve for the child of a single parent when they become involved with organized sports or church youth groups!

According to the Boy Scouts of America website, “…family involvement is essential to Scouting’s success. When we talk about “family” in Scouting, we’re sensitive to the realities of present-day families. Many Scouts do not come from traditional two-parent homes. Some boys live with a single parent or with other relatives or guardians.  The Boy Scouts considers a boy’s family to be the people with whom he lives.  Countless success stories have been made for kids from single parent families coming through the Boy/Girl Scout programs.

The Big Brothers Big Sisters Organization serves more than 1300 youth in Mecklenburg and Cabarrus counties.  According to their website, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Charlotte “targets the children who need us most, including those living in single parent homes, growing up in poverty and coping with parental incarceration.   Founded in 1972, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Charlotte (BBBSGC) has operated under the belief that inherent in every child, is the ability to succeed and thrive in life.  Big Brothers Big Sisters’ mission is to provide children facing adversity with strong and enduring, professionally supported one-to-one relationships that change their lives for the better, forever.”

The website goes on to say, “BBBSGC effectively improves the lives of youth and deeply engages communities through involvement with families, mentors, community funders, schools and other partners.  (Their) proven methodology for serving children through one-to-one mentoring relationships produces measurable positive outcomes in the areas of educational success, avoidance of risky behaviors and socio-economic competence.

To learn more about Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Charlotte, visit their website at www.bbbscharlotte.org .   To enroll a child, donate or volunteer you can contact them at 704.910.1301.

So listen up, my fellow single parents!  If you’re like me – hard working, dedicated single mom very hopeful that my kid never graces the pages of Crime In Charlotte (.com), take advantage of some of these programs our communities have to offer. Contact your church, join together with other single parents in your neighborhoods, get involved in a support group or a school mentor program!  Let’s start a trend of good statistics for a change, and can change the way radio guys report about us and our kids!

Jonna Bishop Bingham

Published April 11, 2013

The Charlotte grassroots movement “Ban the Box” is presenting their proposed ordinance at the Charlotte City Council meeting, February 25th in the Government Center. In order to give people with past criminal convictions a fair chance at getting hired, Ban the Box hopes to remove the requirement that applicants disclose all past convictions on a preliminary application for public employment with the City of Charlotte. Per a Facebook page supporting “Ban the Box”, “The purpose of this provision is to ensure that conviction histories are not being used as an automatic bar to employment. The ordinance also requires the City to give notice to municipal job applicants that it is going to conduct a conviction history check, delays conviction history checks until the city has extended a conditional offer of employment, and gives job applicants an opportunity to present evidence of their rehabilitation to the person making the hiring decision.”

The ordinance stops short of banning criminal back ground checks on qualified applicants and would not require the City to hire someone regardless of his or her convictions.

The ultimate goal of “Ban the Box” is to see that ‘reformed’ men and women have an opportunity to get their foot in the door of employment, that by getting a job they can be productive members of the community and have a much better chance of staying out of jail. They have ‘paid their debt to society’ and should not be discriminated against due to any poor decision they may have made in their past. (And there’s also countless Beauty Queens out there hoping and praying the “pictures” she let her ex-boyfriend take with his Smart Phone never show up on the internet!) You can run from your past, hide from it, pretend it never happened – but in this day and age of social media, endless data bases, digital palm printing and DNA – removing a box on an application will not change a single thing for a newly released inmate. But leaving it there might help the guy who can proudly check “NO”!

I think it’s safe to say that there are still cases of discrimination in the workplace but there are measures in place to reduce it, if not try to eliminate it altogether. The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) is responsible for enforcing federal laws that make it illegal to discriminate against a job applicant or an employee because of the person’s race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information. We can’t choose our color or what country we were born. And we certainly can’t stop being 40 or older (because if we could – I would have already!). One thing we can dictate – and subsequently be judged by – is our actions. Did we hurt someone? Have we acted with malice? Did we break someone’s trust? Did we ever abuse a system, prey on someone, attack, damage or steal? Did we choose to commit a crime? Did we ever get caught, to be judged by a jury of our own peers and then suffer the consequences with some jail time? How we have conducted ourselves in our communities can very much be reflected by a ‘record’ – or lack of one. Why wouldn’t any of that matter to an employer? Why shouldn’t a business owner or hiring manager be able judge us all by our fruits? Prior criminal convictions are not protected by the EEOC. Your crimes – just like your job history – can and should be considered when hiring or deciding not to hire.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day. She is a Human Resources Director at a small business in Charlotte. She posted a fairly low-paying, entry-level position on an employment website and in less than a week received nearly 600 resumes! Although we didn’t discuss any particulars, she said she received anyone from fresh-out-of-high-school kids to folks with years of college and Masters Degrees. There were people with no work experience at all to people who had held the same jobs for 15, 20+ years. “It’s the nature of the economy we’re in”, she said. “It happens every time I post a job.”

In that scenario, it seems to me like the high-school kid would be out of luck. For the same amount of money a company could hire themselves a college educated, been in the workforce forever, lots of practical life experience guy or gal who’s in desperate need of a job – and willing to do whatever small-paying job just to feed the family and pay the bills. If I were the one hiring, that’s the person I would choose.

But wait! The MBA-holding, dream candidate has checked “The Box”. The application asks every job seeker to check the box if he’s ever been convicted of a crime. The application also states that “checking yes” doesn’t necessarily exclude the applicant from being hired. It asks to give an explanation of your conviction(s) and gives you plenty of space to plead your case. That could be good news for the high school kid – who just as badly wants/needs a job.

Does that tell-tale “box” discriminate? No. The application clearly states it doesn’t necessarily exclude anyone from being hired. Is it fair? Sure. It asks everyone the same question. Does asking a potential, future employee if he or she has ever been convicted of a crime serve any sort of purpose? Absolutely. If your business is a henhouse – you need to weed out the foxes! My human resources friend has a big job to do – search through 600 applicants to find the one person who’s the very best fit for her company. 599 people – from high-schoolers to semi-retirees, ex-cons and ex-CEO’s alike – 599 people will be disappointed. And that’s just how it is.

Because some jobs with the city require a clean criminal record, the box is a time-saver eliminating the obvious ineligible applicants. It saves money on costly criminal background checks performed on people who would be automatically excluded from certain positions. And it’s a safety measure, hopefully ensuring child molesters don’t somehow become parks and recreation workers or peeping toms don’t get hired to read residential water meters or embezzlers don’t earn their living taking payments at the Clerk’s office. And even certain jobs require licenses, bonding or insurance that may be hindered by a criminal record. It is a valid question that realistically could have bearing on whether or not an otherwise qualified person even can be hired. As a victim of crime myself, I want to know that our City, at the least considers our safety when choosing the people it sends into our communities. Keeping “The Box” is a start.

Jonna Bishop Bingham
Crime in Charlotte.com

Published February 24, 2013

Crime and Restoration

Since becoming a writer for Crime In Charlotte .com, I’ve had crime on my mind.  I’m constantly listening to the police scanner or on the lookout for “wanted people”.  I think twice before walking up to the ATM machine in the dark, convenience stores seem like havens for general thuggery and I have contemplated purchasing “THE CLUB” to stop car thieves from driving off in my mini-van.  I’ve kept my son a little closer to me and I check in on him while he’s sleeping a little more often – just to make sure no one has snatched him from his bed in the middle of the night.  But this is Holy Week – and quite frankly, I’m having trouble concentrating on the arrest reports!

The kinds of crimes we report are sometimes scary, sometimes violent or sad.  It seems like money – or at least the love of it – can make a criminal out of anybody.  The crimes seem to be desperate attempts to get more, gain something, control someone or destroy people or property.  Many times the crimes are driven by hate, greed or fueled by drugs, mental issues or an appetite for revenge.  Every crime leaves trails of victims and loss and hurt and destruction.  It’s all so senseless and cruel and the more I hear the more I wonder “what is wrong with people?!  It seems like the whole world has gone mad!”  But then I think about Jesus.  And for every criminal who’s ever committed one of the crimes we’ve reported, there’s forgiveness.  He loves the unlovable, He fixes the broken, He forgives the unforgivable.  God Restores.  Suddenly I don’t feel that far off from the criminals we write about.  We’ve ‘all sinned’ and fallen well short of the Glory of God – Romans 3:23

But let’s get back to some crime!  A notorious, Charlotte Crime….

I might be giving away my age here – (44 in October) – but if you grew up in Charlotte in the 70’s and 80’s like I did you have no doubt heard of The PTL Club and Heritage USA.  The founder, Jim Bakker was a hugely successful televangelist who built the PTL Club into a massive television network, Christian resort and theme park which attracted almost as many people as the Disney Kingdoms.  His ministry started humbly enough as he and his wife Tammy Faye Bakker put together a variety type program that included singers, lots of guests and even a cast of puppets.  That children’s puppet show quickly grew out of its little studio out on Park Road in Charlotte and headed south to Fort Mill, South Carolina.  In no time, it seems, the fledgling PTL Club was a 130 million dollar per year enterprise.

Let me write you to from personal experience.  Heritage USA was a spectacular place!  I had a chance to go there on several occasions with my family or friends for camping, the passion plays or the massive water park.  Their Christmas light displays were as good Christmas lights could get.  We waited in a line that stretched for miles down I-77 for the drive-through holiday show.  Heritage was as wholesome as a place could be, clean, friendly and beautiful.  There wasn’t a burned out light bulb, a scrap of trash lying around or anything at all that wasn’t manicured beautifully.  It was cared for.  The people who worked there loved it and took pride in their workplace.  The people who visited there have fond and happy memories of the place before the, well … the fall.

At least around these parts, when you mention “Jim Bakker” you still get a response.  People either loved the guy or they hated him.  He was either a crooked, money-grubbing predator hawking prosperity in the name of Jesus or he was a horribly misunderstood man of God who was crushed under a mound of temptations and then abandoned and used as a scapegoat for the ‘real’ evil-doers.  Jim Bakker himself has said he was a little of both.  (Just not exactly in those words!)  I personally have mixed feelings about him as I thought he was a wonderful preacher.  I had the opportunity to see him a few times.  But on the other hand, I gave money to his ministry, not realizing at the time that my contribution would be grossly mishandled.

At the core of the PTL rise was a guy with a calling to plant a church and build a great place where the ‘church family’ could come and enjoy.  He also wanted to use satellite broadcasts, TV stations and whatever other modern means he could to get the Gospel to the “uttermost parts of the earth”.  He did exactly what he set out to do – and it was a good thing.  But then …

1 Timothy 6:10 says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.  Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”  And I would say that about sums up one of the most notorious crimes in all of Charlotte’s history.  Money – or the love of it – can make a crook out of anyone.  The same money that built the place up tore it all back down.  After a scandalous encounter with the church secretary, hush-money, cooking the books, large bonuses, “conspicuous consumption” and selling stuff they couldn’t promise, the Federal grand jury stepped in.  Jim Bakker was indicted on 24 counts of mail fraud, wire fraud and conspiracy.

During his trial, the streets around the Charlotte courthouse were chaotic.  Crowds of people lingered around, waving signs, trying to get on TV or even selling tee-shirts.  They shouted obscenities at Bakker as he entered or left the building, one local radio morning show was absolutely relentless in persecuting him.  The local newspaper did him in on a daily basis.  Our once beloved, local church leader was all of a sudden the most hated man in America, it seemed.  He received the full-force backlash of every I-Was-Hurt-By-A-Church person that ever lived.  Even the judge, Robert Potter, made no real attempt to hide his disdain for Bakker.  He threw the book at him – sentencing him to 45 years in a Federal Prison.  And wouldn’t you know it, while he was serving hard time in a maximum security federal prison in cold Minnesota his wife left him and married the guy that constructed Heritage, his PTL ‘partners in crime’, if you will, turned their backs on him and he lost everything he ever had.  Despite all of that, Jim Bakker wrote in his book, “I Was Wrong”, he was actually grateful for his time in prison, learning and admitting that his “prosperity gospel” preaching was wrong and has expressed remorse for ‘leading so many people astray’.  He got back to his roots and he asked God to forgive him.  And God did.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the guy owed a debt to society.  He fell into the hands of greed and used the name of Jesus in his money-raising schemes, bilking little old ladies out of their savings by promising prosperity and favor.  He and his wife and kids lived an extremely extravagant lifestyle, with gold-plated bathroom fixtures and air conditioned dog houses in their Tega Cay lake home while some answered-prayer-needing guy sent in his 10% of his fixed monthly income.  He crushed the faith of a lot of people.  He put a smudge on Christianity, if you will, giving the nay-sayers something to use as a reason to doubt ‘any’ church.  I’m not here to judge the man or plead his case to you.  None of that is for me to do.  But here’s the thing … Even after all of that deception and crime, Christ dragged his cross up the hill to Calvary and died for Jim Bakker’s transgressions.  Before the bars ever slammed shut behind him, his debt was paid.

Most of the buildings and grounds of Heritage USA sat empty and unprotected.  Many fell into the hands of vandals and thieves, the unfinished Heritage Tower was damaged by Hurricane Hugo – and to this day has never been repaired.  The water park has been scraped to the ground and the amphitheater is gone.  The roof of the Barn collapsed into the building and the Upper Room was within days of being demolished.  There are neighborhoods now sitting where the campgrounds used to be.  Nature started reclaiming parking lots, sidewalk and wrought iron fences and thieves stripped miles of copper wiring out of every light post left standing.  It wasn’t long before it was a long-forgotten thing of the past.  But not for everyone.

Over the last 25 years, many people have still been very drawn to the place.  Smaller churches have come in and bought a building or two.  The Upper Room Chapel was spared from demolition and completely restored with monetary donations and volunteers.  The Barn Auditorium, home of the old PTL studios, was remodeled and practically rebuilt from the roof down.  It’s now called the Broadcast Group.  And there’s still ‘church’ going on out there!  MorningStar Ministries has the Heritage Grand Hotel alive and well with a church, conference center, a school and even a completely intact Main Street.  I wandered around out there recently, taking pictures and being nosy. You can’t help but wish the place would just spring back to life.  You also can’t help but feel the presence of the Lord.  The place was carved out for good, and even in the wake of its near destruction I think of Romans 8:28 that says “All things work for the good of those called according to His purpose”.  Defunct Christian Theme Park?  You never know … He did say “all things”!

So what’s Jim Bakker been up to these days?  After receiving a reduced sentence, he was released from prison in 1994.  He met and married Lori Graham and they headed off to Branson, Missouri to start building a new ministry together.  The new place is called Morningside.  Albeit much smaller, the buildings, the studio and the sets look nearly identical to the old Heritage USA.  There’s even a nearly exact replica “Main Street” with the same domed and lighted roof made to look like the blue sky.  He’s back on TV, now also web-streaming, with the Jim Bakker Show.  He seems to be doing ok.  He’s not the raging success that he was ‘back in the day’ – but he probably doesn’t want to be.  I get the feeling that he and God have hashed things out.

Back to the Scene of the Crime…..

Who says you can’t go home?  After 25 years of starting over, rebuilding his life, polishing his tarnished reputation and trying to regain the trust of the scattered flock, Jim Bakker made his way back to the still-beating heart of his ministry.  MorningStar Ministries, at what is now called Heritage International, hosted the “Restoration Celebration” this past February.  Recognizing that God calls us to forgive and realizing the “restoration” and “Heritage USA” cannot be in the same sentence without inviting Jim Bakker to be a part of it, the church leaders reached out to him.  Bakker accepted and spent a week reliving the past – the good parts of it, anyway – catching up with old friends, supporters and co-workers.  He even taped his new show as he was graciously welcomed into the old studios by a good-sized crowd who came to see him again.  He looked happy and at home and his message was simple … “God Restores”.  He wasn’t talking about the old buildings or the lost grounds of the fading landmark, but himself – a fallen man, a sinner, a “wretch like me”.  God restores the worst in us, He cleanses us and heals our wounds.  He pours into us all that He has and loves us unconditionally.  No matter the crime, no matter the sin, no matter how far down one goes – God Restores.  Jim Bakker humbly standing in the middle of the PTL Studios in 2013 is proof God can and will restore.

In the middle of this Holy week and upcoming Easter Sunday, I wanted this article about “crime” to be a little something different for you.  One way or another, I think we’ve all been somehow touched by crime.  Whether victim or criminal, innocent bystander or good Samaritan on the scene of a crime, we don’t have to look very hard to find a story.

But the Holy Week and the Easter Season is all about the promise of Restoration.  There’s hope in the Springtime – that the old is shed away so the new can come.  If you’re in need of restoration yourself –  it is right there for you!  Reach out to someone in your family, maybe a counselor or someone at your church.  You can even contact me through our website and I’ll be happy to share with you!  Happy Easter from all of us at Crime in Charlotte (. com)!  And now back to your regularly scheduled crime news…..

Jonna Bishop Bingham, March, 2013

Gastonia Street Ministry

 GASTONIA, N.C. – We were researching a story about a crime that took place in West Gastonia when we came across a small place trying to make a difference in that part of town.  Crime In Charlotte (.com) was on hand Thursday night as the Gastonia Street Ministry opened the doors for anyone looking for a sermon and a meal.

It’s just a little place on the west side of downtown Gastonia that serves people who are basically homeless or on drugs or generally down on their luck.  “All kinds of people have come through here”, says Joyce Gibby, director of GSM. “We don’t turn anyone away”.  They give away clothes and groceries and they feed an estimated 150-200 meals a week.

Joyce Gibby started the Street Ministry – on the streets of Gastonia – in 1997, after a trip to rehab and kicking an addiction to prescription pills.  She knew the needs, she knew the people of the streets with their addictions and troubles and she knew where to find them.  And she knew that those people needed some hope.  Early in the ministry, she would take cigarettes with her, walk under bridges and into woods looking for people to invite to the sermons.  “They would listen to me better if I gave them cigarettes”, she said.

I sat in a blue, plastic chair that was too small for my behind. On the wall behind the pulpit was a giant cross crudely built out of particle board. Nothing matched, it smelled a little musty and the greenery in the “sanctuary” was 2 plastic and silk ficas trees that could have used a good dusting.  It didn’t really seem like “church”.  Absent was any plush carpeting, intricately carved, oak furniture, brass collection plates or ornate, stained glass windows. The ministry did grow and after 2 years of ministering in the parks and streets around Gastonia, Ms. Gibby and her ministry partners were able to get inside.  416 W. Main Ave. became the permanent address in 1999.

Through the month, different local churches take turns bringing the meal and the sermon.  Tuckaseege Baptist Church from Mt. Holly is there every 2nd Thursday of the month.

“We love to come here”, says church member Tommy Jinks.  “We count it a joy to serve the folks here alongside Miss Gibby.”

Mr. Jinks continued, “We’re called to serve others.  1 John 3:18 says to Love not with words but with actions – and that’s what we do.  We love because He loves us.  And we try to meet practical needs – like hunger – not just by telling someone ‘Jesus loves you’, but by showing them – with a meal.  Our actions are  Love in Action.  Miss Gibby does that here.”

A few people from the Tuckaseege Choir were there to lead the crowd in hymns, a plate went around and collected up a few dollars and then Pastor Jason Marlowe stepped into the pulpit. He was dressed in faded jeans, a Superman tee-shirt and some black Chuck Taylors.  He delivered a raw, unadorned, real, humble message.  He stood in the makeshift church and told homeless people to REJOICE!  He passionately reminded the people there that no matter what they’ve done, how they’ve lived, what addictions they’re in the grips of – “at the end of the day”, he said, “If we have Jesus nothing else matters.”  And the people raised their hands and ‘amened’ to that!

On the menu that night was Meatball Subs, chips and Cherry Dump Cakes for dessert.  “Some ladies from the church made the meatballs”, Mr. Jinks pointed to ladies lined up behind the counter to start serving dinner.  “We send out an email every month and people just sign up,”  he said.  “We usually have so much food that we’re able to send left-overs home with people!”  There were men and women, young and old, even kids that came from the church.  They blended right in with the people – talking to them, eating with them and offering prayers or an ear to listen.  One young man named Mason, about 13 years old, acted as a waiter – offering to refill drinks or take people’s plates away.  And he was all smiles, genuinely joyful as he offered more dessert to the folks!

There’s a hand-drawn sign on the bulletin board saying “Over 10,000 Souls”.  “There’s actually more than that”, Miss Gibby told us.  “We just quit changing the sign”.

“Many of those 10,000 have come from lives of crimes, or drugs, straight off the streets”, Gibby said.  “I had a prostitute turn her life over to Christ and she was married here – in here – a couple years later!  I’ve seen drug addicts completely delivered from their addictions.  We’ve had our people go off to jail – and then come back.  They give back what they can.  If we can help one person turn away from drugs and crime and turn to God – then we’re a success.”

If you would like to help the Gastonia Street Ministry, you can find more information at http://www.gastoniastreetministry.com/

Jonna Bishop Bingham, Published June 15, 2013

Eulogy For My Friend Diet

Still working through my issues of eating too much, dieting, failing, eating too much, dieting, failing, infinity, etc. ... the next assignment up from my counselor is to write a eulogy to my Diet. I didn't want to! And at first all I could think of was poor, dumb Derek Zoolander being a ridiculously good "eugooglizer". Alas, even in the death of things - hope springs eternal. And the hope now is to bid a fond farewell to all my "diets" and a big hello to something - anything different that might work to get my weight at a place I can be ok with.....

Thank you all for coming. I don't think I have to tell you just how hard it is for me to stand before you today, behind the lifeless body of my friend Diet and tell you what all she meant to me. Grieving her loss and letting her rest in peace will be even harder still. Currently her departure is still very fresh, and honestly, I don't believe I've come to terms with this unimaginable loss.

Diet and I grew up together in a modest, middle class home. I was never hungry and I never wanted for anything. But, I was raised by people who knew the power of hunger and grew up thinking that food was "special". My mother fed me well. And she didn't let me leave anything on my plate. My mom and dad were also southern - and enjoyed all things fried, seasoned in fatback, and full of calories! I mean, the fat is where the flavor is?! Right?! It wasn't the healthiest of foods - but man, when my mom cooked... food felt like LOVE! Holidays were the BEST! There was never a special occasion that didn't revolve around food! Where ever friends and family were gathered, there was food. It's just how it was.

As kids Diet and I enjoyed meals together - never giving much thought about weight issues or health. We just ate what we wanted and went on about our days. But heading into my pre-teen years all of a sudden I noticed I was a pudgy kid. Diet noticed also, and while looking out for my best interest, often reminded me that perhaps I should slow down on the pasta! Just trying to help - she would even, at times, urge me not to eat at all. Together she and I maintained a tall, curvy figure. As long as she stuck with me and I did what she told me to - we made a great team! 

Diet was successful in her chosen field - losing a lot of weight several times. From Adkins to The Zone, from Jenny Craig to Weight Watchers - Diet was enthusiastic and ever-willing to put me through the wringer to make me the best me I could be!! I only wished I had the stamina and will power she tried to instill. I can still see her happy and smiling face yelling at me "YOU CAN DO IT!!"  

You know, come to think of it though - Diet and I had a complicated relationship. She had a dark side too and she was was hard on me. So hard on me that I became very hard on myself. The more she tried to get out of me the less I gave her what she wanted. When I tried to turn my back on her she would come for me, ever talking me back into her good graces. The older I got the more it was an on-again, off-again relationship. I had stopped my die-hard commitment to her, but there were times she'd still put up a fuss until I gave in. Occasionally I'd at least try to cut out entire food groups for long periods of time or something. Through the years however, she was wearing me down. She would side with her buddy, Scales, and they would gang up on me to make me do what she wanted. I started to feel like Christina Crawford telling her mom, Joan Crawford, "I love you, Mommie Dearest", 5 minutes after cleaning the Ajax Cleanser off the bathroom floor and getting a beat down from a wire hanger. Did Diet frustrate me?! YES! Did I love her any way? Oh yes. DO I HATE HER?! YESSSS!!!!!  Wait... where was I?! I forgot where I was for a moment.....

And so, in conclusion my dear, sweet friend Diet, as much as I love you - it's time for me to let you go. Rest in Peace, friend, although I know that's hard for you! You'll never be far from my heart or thoughts, but I must learn now to live without you. And well, I have met someone who, I think, will fill the hole you've left in me - Healthy Choices. Ms. Choices and I will work together to replace you in a way that I can look back over yours and my adventures together fondly - but not in a way that Christina Crawford felt when she got zilch from Joan's lush estate - except the last word! But then again, maybe I will have the last word........... Mommie Dearest sold a zillion copies!