How anyone could see God's art and summize that it was thrown together by some big bang is beyond me. Take the metamorphosis of a butterfly. The butterfly lays an egg on the underside of a leaf. It's held in place by some sort of sticky, butterfly glue that has yet to be understood by scientist. From the butterfly egg comes a caterpillar. To live, the creepy crawler instinctively eats the plant it was formerly attached to, growing quickly and nearly doubling in size daily. He leaves his home - the plant - in search of a safe place to start the next phase of his life. He attaches himself upside down to his next location and covers himself in a protective shell called a Chrysalis. Inside of there the final transformation takes place and the caterpillar emerges as a beautiful butterfly. Winged Jewels of the insect world, no two exactly alike and all perfectly designed. Yes God's design - it's all good!
During my time of unemployment this past summer, I had plenty of extra time on my hands. I spent a lot of time looking through the job listings and sending out my resume. I spent lot of the time in my study Bible learning things I'd never heard of and getting closer to God! I also got to spend a lot of time writing. (Truthfully, now that I'm safely employed I wouldn't subtract a minute of my 'off time'!) I wrote a lot and about all kinds of things. I entered a writing contest (which I'm still waiting to hear if I won!)and I submitted several things to the local newspapers. It always lifted my spirits to have my work published! And I'll admit it...during my season of unemployment, I probably spent too much time on Facebook. It's really no secret!
Of course part of the fun of facebook is looking up the long-lost friends from the past. I had pretty much found everyone from my past that I was interested in finding but there was one old friend of mine that just never showed up in Facebook. One day I "googled" his name and found him - in a prison in the mountains of North Carolina. I was so disappointed. Not really surprised but disappointed for sure. We both ran in the same circles doing the same kinds of things. Without knowing "what he was in for" I could only assume that the drugs he started using years ago must've caught up with him somehow. We all "partied" together back in the day but he took the 'party' to a level the rest of us weren't willing to go to. So eventually we all lost touch. I had no idea what happened to him between then and now that landed him in the the custody of the state. But for the grace of God there go I, I thought. I fought my own demons for years. I wasn't going to judge the guy. I was lucky I never got in more trouble than I did.
I hadn't seen or heard from him in 15 years. I had no idea what his life has been like, what crimes he did to land him in prison or if he would even remember me. But something was tugging at me. I had to write him and I needed to tell him about Jesus - I just had to know if he had a relationship with the Father. If he had Jesus no matter what mess the rest of his life might have been in I knew he would be ok. So I wrote the letter and sent it on its way.
He wrote me back right away. And I was happy to read that he did know Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and because my letter came right at the time it did he also believed that God answered prayers! He told me a little about his life and his current situation. And he confirmed my suspicions ... He had a long way to go in prison and he had just got there. He was grateful that I had written him and hoped that I would write again. He also said he was proud of me. He knew my past. He knew a lot about 'old me'. From the sound of my letter he guessed I had changed a lot over the last how-ever-many years.
We started writing back and forth. And because I had so much extra time on my hands my letters would become these epic, marathon letters with page after page after page of whatever was on my mind at the time. My letters were also full of the Good News of Jesus!! I would try to remember everything from Sunday's church service and write it all down. I would copy the notes from the bulletins or tell him whatever our last Sunday School lesson was about. Not a page was written that I didn't remind him that he was loved by God! He knew that. And he in turn would remind me of the same thing when I would try to get discouraged on the job search. I was honest with him about my own trials, troubles and addictions. "But for the Grace of God..." I thought that often as I wrote to him. It could have easily been me.
He said he loved reading my letters - he had plenty of time on his hands as well. Send the letters, as long a letter as you can write, he said! I sent him a Bible and I sent him some small Bibles to give to any of his fellow inmates that didn't have one. I felt like I was reaching out to other people in the prison that way, at the very least helping my friend perhaps plant a seed for someone there. And I sent him my blog posts, Facebook notes and articles. He said he enjoyed them. I got so much from this friendship and he did as well and it was just nice getting to know him.
For Father's Day this past year the Gaston Gazette published a piece I had written a couple years earlier called "Flowers For Father's Day". It was a sad little story I had written about a rose bush after my dad had passed away. I was so excited about it - not only was the article unedited but they also gave me a whole page, ran pictures of my dad and family and even had my picture with my name under it as the writer. It was the best looking article of mine I'd ever seen in print and I was so, so proud! I sent a copy to the prison along with a mile long letter all about the experience of getting it published! He said he loved the article so much that he read it to some of the men there. He said it made a few grown men get teary eyed! (I get that, I cried when I wrote it!) My writing, he said, softened up some hardened criminals!
So I'd been writing him for awhile and finally decided I would just go visit him. I didn't know what to expect when I got there. The only prison visits I had ever seen were on TV. I think had in mind something like stainless steel stools bolted to the floor and a conversation through thick, bulletproof glass and an old-school telephone receiver. It wasn't like that at all. You walked in, one prisoner visitor at a time and they sat you down at your own small, round table. There were rows of tables with the visitors sitting and waiting on their loved ones to come out. The prisoners came out one at a time - I guess for security reasons and made their way to the table that had their visitor sitting there. There was a young lady sitting at the table in front of mine waiting for her guy to come out. When her guy walked out she stood up to greet him. As he was walking towards his girl he looked at me. Then he looked at me again, almost like he knew me. I felt a little weird, honestly! He hugged his girlfriend and looked at me again. This time he said "I know you!"
It was the last thing I ever expected to hear in a prison visitor room in a medium security prison in the middle of the North Carolina Mountains. I'm sure his girlfriend didn't expect that either because she whipped around and looked at me like I just tried to steal her man! I'm sure I looked confused and all I could say was "Really?". He said, "Yes, you wrote the article about the flower. That was you!" And suddenly I was overly-too flattered. "Yes, that was me", I confidently responded. "Butterfly!", The guy said. "That was a good story", he finished and then started visiting with his girlfriend (probably because he knew what was good for him!)
"Butterfly?" I wondered. There was no butterfly in my story. Oh well. My friend made his way to my table and sat down. We'd both changed a lot, I decided. He was grey and my weight had doubled since the last time we saw each other. Oh well, happens to the best of us I guess! After some catching up I leaned in to quietly tell him the guy behind him recognized me. "He said he read my article", I told him. "A lot of the men read it", he responded. "They all loved it!" And he told me about more men getting sad, actually crying or talking about their own dads after reading it. I was really fond of the idea that something I had written had an effect on such a seemingly 'tough crowd'.
Still trying to keep my voice down so the next table over couldn't hear that I was talking about him I said to my friend, "He said something about a Butterfly".
"That's what we call you", he said. "Butterfly".
Evidently if you're in prison you get a nick-name. And a lot of times even the friends and family members of the prisoners get nick-names also. Turns out that I had a prison nick-name. (Another thing I never figured...). My prison nick-name was Butterfly.
"Butterfly? Why?" I questioned.
"Because you've changed". He continued. "I've told them about you, how I knew you and how we all were in the past. You were wrapped up in a cocoon of sin and addiction. But you got Jesus and you went through a change and emerged as a beautiful butterfly! You've spread your wings and you're flying! You're not a caterpillar crawling around on the ground anymore. You're free."
All of a sudden it occurred to me that I was a completely different person! When He saved me He also changed me! All those burdens I carried for so long had been cast off and I really was free from my sins. It might not have been all that obvious to me at the time but to a person who knew me a lifetime ago there was no denying the presence of my Savior in my life! I was so happy knowing that you could determine by my words and my actions that I was a true and happy follower of Christ! I felt like I had Jesus oozing through my pores! "Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." ~ Matthew 7:20. Butterfly was validation. As complicated as metamorphosis was for a self-absorbed, careless, unloveable old sinner like me God loved me anyway and thought of me as worthy of transformation. By beautiful design, he turned me into a winged jewel in his glorious garden!
God will use any person and any situation for good. Sometimes you become one of His tools and you don't even know it. Through my old friend, I was able to be a witness to 'hardened prisoners'. I was an example of God being able to save a wretch like me. I don't know if anything I've said or written or been an example of has led anyone to Christ but I'm certain some seeds have been planted. My friend can do the watering - and hopefully the harvest! We make a good team that way! God's team!
So Butterfly it is ... and I like it. It's girly and sweet ... But having a prison nick-name also gives me street cred! :)
A friend of mine actually met her now husband in prison a few years ago. She was, and still is part of many ministries affiliated with her Church. She and her husband have also formed their own ministry and most every weekend they are out and about showing and teaching others about God. I have a copy of his testimony that I would love to send you, or better yet, drop it off in person. God does use people to do Good. I truly enjoyed this blog, and will "share" it:) God Bless
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