HOARDERS

You've probably seen an episode or two of "Hoarders". If you haven't - it's a program on A&E Network about people who are extreme hoarders. Not like a pile of dusty collectibles on a few shelves - but hoarding things, filling every corner straight up to the ceilings, every room in the house, piles of clothes, trash, pet waste, dead animals, live animals, boxes, toys, food, dishes, and yes - maybe even some collectibles. And I mentioned "extreme". These must be the worst of the worst of the worst cases. So the program is contacted by concerned loved ones, asking the program to essentially come into the home for an "intervention" type clean up and purge. The drama ensues when the hoarder is forced to confront the disease of hoarding head on, but they then flat out refuse to throw away some random pile of actual crap. The argument makes for good entertainment!

As a viewer - the most frustrating part to watch is when the Department of Health and Human Services or Child Protective Services comes along. And after countless, countless warnings the hoarder is asked to clean up the home or actually lose custody of their kids - they still fight it tooth and nail, seeming to chose an 8-foot pile of garbage over their own children. The clean up crew has to stand around while the hoarder argues with family and the professionals, then finally a breakthrough of sorts happens and by the end of the show they have managed to clean up and remove all the garbage/things/items/animals/whatevers from the home. On top of that the organizers provide a deep clean, a coat of paint, sometimes new shelving and organizing systems. The best part is the show gives them some money and the phone number of a local counselor who specializes in these kinds of things. And all's well that ends well!! Right? I doubt it...

I don't understand Hoarding, but I do know that it is an actual disease... but it's one of those diseases that tends to garner attack rather than sympathy. A "snap out of it, already" kind of illness. I am guilty of that - watching the show - or even knowing a couple of actual hoarders - and jumping to the conclusion that it's as easy as "clean up the mess so your kids can have a place to sleep other than a foster home...". Super easy for me to judge a hoarder ... BUT ...

I'm not a hoarder. But I am a morbidly obese diabetic. And from all "outward" appearances - I'm perfectly satisfied living in my own prison of a fat suit ... daring someone to come along and make me do anything for myself or any other reason. I'm a fat hoarder! A hoarder of fat....If that was an actual thing - that would 100% be me! It's something people (myself included) think one should just get off the couch and do something about it already! I feel like that about myself! But then "Inner me" is devastated by this, so embarrassed by this, and would like nothing more than to purge forever from me this, well, giant mess. And unfortunately - you can't just "snap out of it". If I could - I would have done just that already! Same as the hoarders I watch to make myself feel better about my housekeeping skills.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes the first time the very first thing I thought of was dying young and leaving my 15 year old son without a mom. The idea that I had become so sloth-like and complacent, eating my way all the way up to 315 pounds and to type 2 diabetes made it sting just a little bit more. A look of fear came over that sweet face of his - and etched into my soul. I didn't want to be responsible for causing that kind of worry in my kid! So I finally took responsibility for my actions (of eating too much) or inactions (lying on the couch for years), and I did something about my "hoard". 

Although it took me 6 months to get my mind right I finally got to work, and making quick time of cleaning out each "room" of my life, ridding myself of junk in the trunk (see what I did there!). The more I got rid of the better I felt. I organized myself and gave myself a fresh coat of clothes, and hair and make up. The "CPS" of my extreme hoarders story was the fear of dying while my son was still so young. It was my duty to get him to adulthood! I didn't need any Department of Human Services to tell me to get it together or else! I did it on my own - with the fear of actual death as a motivator!! And with my son's future still in tact, I made it to the end of my episode purged of the load and serving as an inspiration to anyone watching who also wanted to clean up their own piles of life's extra debris! 

But The Problem With That Show.....

Even though it's making entrainment from people's illnesses and troubles, the show seems to have good intentions. They come in with a pile of people to help the overwhelmed hoarder, including professional organizers and even psychiatrists. I don't know if they ever do "follow up" type shows - but I would venture to guess that throwing away the majority of a person's hoard - without benefit of medication for compulsive disorders and a ton of cognitive behavioral therapy - would likely lead to an even larger hoard the "next time". Even if the hoard is gone - the issue of hoarding is still very much there! It's usually determined that some unresolved issue from the past would be the reason for a person to start hoarding in the first place. Not fixing that stuff first is like trying to drive a motorcycle - but you've never even been on a bike with training wheels! 

Which leads me back to me... my hoard is back! I did it the wrong way - I took off on the Harley Davidson without giving the Schwinn a whirl first. I treated the symptoms but not the cause. 

I'm happy to report that this time I have solicited the help of some professionals - a professional fat-hoarder organizer! And with the assistance and support of my friends and my family tomorrow life's dumpster will roll up to my "house" and I will begin the great clean out again. But this time my goal will not be to get the house cleaned up - but to keep it clean! Now if I can just find where I put my keys!